


I Love you... Goodbye

by dragonndoggod



Series: alt universe [34]
Category: Sex Pistols | Love Pistols
Genre: Angst, Angst with no happy ending, Betrayal, Cheating, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Multi, Partner Betrayal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-08
Updated: 2011-06-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 03:06:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7960033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonndoggod/pseuds/dragonndoggod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time has past since they left school and the way their lives have been going isn’t where Shirou thought they’d be.  Unable to handle it any more, he comes to a decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love you... Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Both Yonekuni & Shirou are out of character. Not a happy story. This is a stand alone drabble, there will be no continuation to it.

He watched from afar, across the courtyard, the only way he could now. After only a few years with the blond, knowing that this was the only way he could see the blond in public. He wanted to chuckle at the unfairness at the whole charade, which was what their relationship had become. Nothing but a charade. His heart ached as the young woman laughed what Yonekuni had said, her hand lingering on his arm in invitation.

Which he knew, without a doubt, that the blond would take her up on it. ’When did it become like this?’ He asked himself as he turned away from the public display of affection the two were giving, continuing on his way to his next class, though he knew he had plenty of time before his next lecture. It had only been two years since they left school, both entering into the same university, though under different majors. The nervousness that Yonekuni had expressed when he asked him to move in, he didn’t need time to think about it, answering the question immediately. The smile that the blond had given him and that night, being taken softly and slow. Cherished.

Not any more.

Sitting through the lecture, automatically taking notes while his thoughts drifted elsewhere. Hearing the lecture and the dismissal for the week, he knew from experience that Yonekuni wouldn’t be home for hours, if he even came home at all. Giving him plenty time to drop by a small office that was set off the way towards home. Such thoughts had been entertained in the past, but he would find himself stopping at the door and ask himself ‘why was he doing this?’ before turning away. Now, steeling himself, he could imagine and hear what his friends would say if they knew what he had though.

“Don’t give up,” They’d say. ”Give him time. You love him, right?” They’d tell him

Of course he loved Yonekuni. Loved him so much that he was on the verge of this that he was considering this. The pain of a one sided love was all he knew and to be honest with himself, he was getting tired of it. Smiling when he heard the greeting as he entered, taking a seat the woman offered him.

It was several hours later, closing in at six that he made his way home, up the steps of the well to-do apartment building. Fishing out his keys and unlocking the door, which he got halfway open before pausing. Heart in his throat all the while racing, he heard the sounds that seemed to echo from the bedroom. Unable to get further inside, the overwhelming smell of another, overpowering his own scent at the moment. Mouthing a question he had asked Yonekuni repeatedly, knowing that the blond would only answer that “A man has needs that sometimes another man can’t relieve.”

Quietly closing the door, locking it before pressing his back to the door and hanging his head. The few that lingered in the hallway just shook their head. Either in pity or wonder, he didn’t know or care. Fishing the business card out of his pocket, he called the number and made his decision.

He spent the night at a twenty four hour cafe, talking quietly with the few that seemed to enter, ignoring their questions that they asked to why he stayed. Ordering a a drink ever few hours as he poured over his notes in the hopes that time would pass by faster.

It was when he went to sign the paperwork for the apartment he wanted that the sound of his phone went off, reminding him that he received a text. The words on the screen, “Where are you?” Shaking his head when it rang after ignoring the text, knowing that the blond was being possessive instead of being worried. When the agent frowned, he apologized and turned his phone off before continuing with the paperwork with the hopes that by the end of the meeting, he would have the keys to his new home.

Avoiding Yonekuni was easier said then done, their classes were held on opposite sides of the campus and on certain days while on certain days, their classes where longer leaving him free while the blond was left in class. Halfway home, which wasn’t home any more, he knew that everything was over, the realization finally hitting him. And for the first time in his life, regretting ever going to the swim meet.

Apartment empty when he entered, looking around and catching little hints of the happiness that he used to have when he was with the one he loved. Bracing himself, entering the bedroom he shared with Yonekuni.

The sight of the bed had his heart breaking once more. Unmade with a pair of lace panties laying on the spot where he usually slept while on the night stand, the expensive bottle of alcohol that he bought Yonekuni for his birthday stood half empty. Two glasses, one that Yonekuni had given to him for their first Christmas together. Turning away, grabbing his bag from the closet before pulling out several changes of clothes, enough that would last him a week. Money that he had stored away for a trip that he had been saving for, for when they graduated. That trip was now a thing of the past, as well as the plans that he had thought they’d share.

Breathing deeply, he looked around the room before making the decision to come back later for the rest of his things. Shutting the door to the bedroom and shouldering his bag, he knew that he wouldn’t be taking anything Yonekuni bought him, unable to handle the memories while trying to get over him. Finally, halfway to his new home, an apartment that the seller was in a hurry to lease before going over seas, he turned his cellphone back on. The list of missed calls and only a few voice messages, none from Yonekuni. What was he hoping for?

It would be several days later that his luck ran out and while he knew it was bound to happen sooner or later, he hoping for later. Packing away his notes for the upcoming exams, head down turned to make sure that what he written down wasn’t getting damage, he didn’t see the figure at the door. The frown that crossed the handsome face nor did he see the blond walk further into the lecture hall.

The painful grasp on his wrist had him jerking his head up into angry, blue eyes.

“Yonekuni?”

“Where the hell have you been?” What would have been a question that would have bordered on indifference days, weeks and months ago was now filled with anger. If he wasn’t so set on changing their relationship, he would have given in with the hopes that things had changed for the better.

“I’ve been home, Yonekuni-”

The shake of a blond head. ”I’ve been waiting for you to come home for the past several days, you won’t even answer your phone anymore.” He looked around, making sure that no one was lingering and listening in on them. When he was sure the coast was clear, he turned to the irate male.

“I’m,” clenching his eyes shut, willing himself not to break down, “I’m leaving, Yonekuni.”

“Leaving?”

He nodded, pulling his hand from the slackened grip. ”Yes, listen,” he could do this, he told himself, “I don’t want to talk about it here, let’s go to your place.” He didn’t notice the flinch the reptile gave when he referred to the apartment as “your”, didn’t see the worried looks that were cast to him.

The walk to the apartment was made in silence, the front door unlocked and open, stepping inside to a clean apartment, not a hint of anyone else other than Yonekuni. As if the past Monday never happened. Taking a seat on the couch, the same one he and Yonekuni christened when they got it. Turning his mind from such memories, he watched the blond take a seat next to him.

“Now, tell me what you mean by “Leaving”?”

“Yonekuni, I want you to know that I love you, love you so much. But you know, lately, love isn’t enough anymore.” He took a deep breath, he could do this. A broken heart was something he was used to. ”I used to think that when we started going out, we’d be exclusive Yonekuni. I would be yours and you would be mine. Now,” he looked up from his hands to his right, “I’m yours, but you’re not mine, are you? You’ve never been mine.” He choked out, cursing himself for breaking down. ”Do you know how much it hurts to know that you’re out there, sleeping with a girl for needs that “A man can’t relieve”?” He pushed himself off the couch to stand, only to turn back to Yonekuni.

“How much it hurts coming home to find out you brought a woman into our bed? Yonekuni, when was the last time you actually held me? Touched me and loved me?” He shook his head, wiping away the tears that fell. ”Like the way you used to, spending all the time we could learning and relearning about each other.” His voice dropped before kneeling on the floor, lifting the down turned head. ”I love you and this,” he tried to give the blond a smile, but failed when Yonekuni’s face paled, “is why I have to say goodbye.”

He leaned in, brushing his lips against parted ones, one last kiss and one last look before standing up with the words “I’ll come by for the rest of my things.” If he were to look, he would have seen Yonekuni drop his head in his hands. Instead, he looked forward, onto the next day were he could get over this broken heart.

Maybe one day.


End file.
